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It’s natural to arrive a little nervous to a speed dating event, particularly if you have never been speed dating before and don’t know what to expect.Trust me, after the first speeddate or two (and after the first drink or two!His ex still gives him a hard time, but he says that he has moved on. Last week I bought up the subject and the answer wasn’t what I expected.He told me how great I was and that he loved what we have, but at this time, he didn’t have the capacity to commit to more.Key goals of a first date are to (a) see if you have a connection, and (b) find out if you and your date have any major areas of incompatibility. Why: Does the person have strong feelings or are they more easygoing and with milder feelings.

You want to be memorable and have 4 minutes fly by and leave your date wanting more.Find out early if there are reasons that “making it work” will be fraught. Select a few of these questions rather than attempt to ask them all on the same first date! For example, if one person likes to take very long trips and the other person has a more standard two weeks vacation time. If asking this question leads to five solid minutes of them complaining you'll know the person sees the glass as half empty. Why: When you enter a relationship with someone you’re also entering a relationship with their friends. Why: If one of you doesn't like pets and the other has 3 dogs, that's likely to be a problem. Also, if anything out of the ordinary has happened that might be affecting your date’s mood, it’s good to factor this in. Also, it’s nice to give your date an opportunity to answer a question that isn't directly about them. He also said that just because he doesn’t have the capacity today it doesn’t mean that he won’t have it in 2,4, or 6 months.Being a woman, I accepted his logic and things have been good.

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